(e)motion

Something I’ve only come to realise in the last year or so is the importance of feeling. No matter how crushing, you have to feel something to move on. To keep in motion. If you deny an emotion its breathing space, it will stop you in your tracks, entangling you in a numbing rut. Life stops.

Recently my personal life has taken an unpleasant turn, and to say that I am upset is an understatement. I have no idea what the future holds, nor do I particularly want to know at this point. The sheer anguish of uncertainty is awful, and I really hope things turn in my favour soon. But for now, I am sad.

On paper, this sounds grim. And it is. However, there is an unexpected positive amidst the grief. I am feeling again.

For a long, long time, I had convinced myself that emotion and resilience did not go hand in hand. In my mind they were poles apart; if the two came together it could only mean the destruction of resilience. The flow of tears washed away any and all effort to live through challenging times.

It is this idea of ‘living’ that has become clear to me. In order to live, we must experience. We must feel. If resilience allows you to ‘live’ through adversity, resilience must involve emotion. In truth, we feel our way through life; in order to be happy, we need to know what sad is. When we numb emotion, an experience gets lost in time. Our course of life is stalled and we don’t move as we should – or as we could. We cannot move on from sadness because we didn’t acknowledge the sadness to begin with.

Of course, the opposite is also true. If we stop ourselves from feeling happy, we cannot progress to sadness. Although derailing the course of emotion is tempting, it is an unhealthy coping mechanism acting under the guise of ‘resilience’. Unfortunately, this is a trap that I have fallen into.

Under no circumstances am I ‘grateful’ for this sadness that has taken hold of my life, but being able to comprehend the course of my life is something I am absolutely grateful for. I feel as though I am moving again. The true nature of resilience is clear to me now, and with a little bit of luck, this will only serve to benefit me in the future.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

Author: The Electric Oracle

Hello! My name is Clodagh, and I run 'The Electric Oracle'. You can read a little more about me on - you guessed it - the 'about' section of my page.

14 thoughts on “(e)motion”

  1. It’s wonderful that you are feeling again … numbness is protective for a time, but one must return to life, and life is all about feeling, just as you say. The sadness will pass. All feelings, good and bad, do. It will be good to read your posts in the coming weeks and months.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Strongs Clodagh!🤗 lucky thing – Emotions are temporary and useful if you work with them. They bring you a ‘message’. I personally love Mark Manson’s writing on becoming an emotional ninja. ….Recognize them, identify them, listen to them and use them to your benefit. Chin up kid, Don’t you dare forget that you are So beautiful! You got this…, 2018 has amazing things in store for you #Faith

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I understand. Through your adversity you are rediscovering what its like to truly live. I too allow myself to feel the emotions of missing my incarcerated husband. I believe we inspire through experience. It would be so much easier to just shut down but I refuse. I feel every moment of sadness so that I will fully embrace every moment of happiness! I pray your year improves and you learn much along the journey.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Wonderful post thank you!! Feelings are the way we communicate with the universe and I am glad to see you are learning from this experience. Keep that wonderful smile of yours and soon you will feel happy once more. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you for this great post . I recently moved to the UK from my tropical paradise Papua New Guinea . Where I’m used it being sunny all year round and I’ve had to get used to the dull winters here in the UK. Reading your post really gave me motivation to acknowledge what I’ve been feeling instead of trying so hard to be all tough and resilient and bury it away . When in fact I need to acknowledge what I’m feeling and go from there .

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is exactly how I have been feeling about so many things I thought feeling nothing made me stronger than most people but I’ve come to realize that because I’ve become numb accomplishing anything positive in life because I have no emotion and no motivation.

    Liked by 1 person

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