acceptance over love


I can’t honestly say that I love myself. I do not embrace my flaws or scream ‘I am what I am’ over the rooftops. At one level, this makes me feel somewhat alienated from those who are unashamedly themselves. The people who don’t question every word they say. I don’t, however, let this bog me down; I may not love myself, but I accept myself.

There is a rhetoric floating around these days that speaks of how we must love ourselves before we love others. We must embrace our differences and eradicate self-loathing. On the surface this sounds ideal. We all just give ourselves a big hug and everything is fine! If only it were that simple.

As far as I’m concerned, it is far more important to accept yourself before you love yourself. Even if you accept yourself and you don’t end up loving every inch of your being, you’ll still be better equipped to face the world.

There is a strange guilt that comes with not expressing love for your (apparent) flaws; you feel as though your lack of self-love will inhibit your potential to love and appreciate others. You’re a disappointment to compassion.

This is where self-acceptance is key. You do not have to cherish your imperfections. You can acknowledge their presence and accept the role they play in your life, but loving them is unessential. I categorically do not love my crooked spine, asymmetrical jaw, introverted nature or tendency to assume the worse case scenario. But they’re a part of me, and that’s just fine. These things have taught me a lot, and they’ll probably continue to do so as I become older and – hopefully – wiser.

Let’s stop making people feel guilty for not ‘owning’ their flaws. You can feel lacklustre about yourself while continuing to love others. The more we accept, the more we can move on and unshackle ourselves from the impossible task of loving what we hate.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

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Author: The Electric Oracle

Hello! My name is Clodagh, and I run 'The Electric Oracle'. You can read a little more about me on - you guessed it - the 'about' section of my page.

13 thoughts on “acceptance over love”

  1. I am obsessed with those post! It’s so true this idea of self-love is the only way to true, undeniable happiness, however I’ve always doubted it’s actually possible. I’m definitely going to start practicing a mindset of self-acceptance. Thanks for writing 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. For me they aren’t flaws, they are what make you, you. For me who says what you have is wrong, you are what you are, and with my introverted nature I would say I’m not that fussed what people say or think. For me to love however I need to be happy first, I believe its important to be in a good frame of mind first in order to look to commit to another, If you look for love when unhappy you could be doing it for the wrong reason (to make you happy) and that can cause problems. Love the topic here, very thought provoking

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great post. For me it celebrates the general idea of mindfulness and acceptance; of knowing that thoughts and feelings are just thoughts and feelings. They are the clouds in the blue sky of being. They aren’t good or bad. They just are. You captured that for me. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This post has deftly explained the fight we have with ourselves every other day. The effort to love ourself, despite being well aware of the flaws is indeed a Herculean task. Everyday is a victory in fact, whenever I am able to overlook my flaws and focus on what’s good, especially, on the inside because that’s what really should matter. Beautiful post btw 🙂 x


  5. I personally use a lot of heaven therapy in my thinking and accepting… Like you were saying, I think it is fine to maybe not like a particular thing about yourself, but you have to learn to accept and embrace it, perhaps try and find the good in it.

    I think when we get to heaven we can look exactly the way we want, and we can change physical appearance like we change clothes in a way, or our hairstyles… if you want to be muscular one week and skinny the next, that is fine… if you want to be black another and white the week after that… whatever…

    I think we are here for a purpose, and then we will get our just reward for services rendered when we get to heaven, this life is such a blip on the notion of an eternal life, just a spec of a spec of time… We can just make the best of it, one advantage is you may find an eternal partner that you connect with a partner more on a mental and emotional level then on a physical level…

    I think you look great though by the way!

    But, I think if two people can fall and love with each other and want to spend eternity with each other… perhaps they may even think, ya know, we can look and do anything when we get to heaven, with God anything is possible… why don’t we not worry about our weight so much or how we look while were here, lets enjoy ourselves and some simple pleasures…. and I think that is beautiful.

    Plus some people when they fall truly in love, start wishing their spouse didn’t look good, because they don’t want anyone to steal them before they get to heaven!

    Take care, thanks for posting!


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