lucky

I’ve been trying to cobble together a long-ish written post for weeks now, but the words aren’t flowing. Not that I mind, really. It’s a lull more than a blockage.

One of the things I wanted to write about was the concept of luck. I’ve felt extremely unlucky this year, for a variety of reasons. It is not, however, the ‘unluckiness’ that bothers me; it will pass. I know that. It is the unending guilt I have felt for labelling this time in my life as a misfortunate one that irks me.

I do believe that we create our own luck. I really do. We can place ourselves in fortunate circumstances by doing plenty, living full lives – whatever you want to call it. The more you do and the more you believe, the luckier you are.

So what about ‘bad’ luck? Is it my fault that life has been loathsomely unkind to me this year? Did I upset the wheel of fortune? Am I nothing more than a lazy cynic? In some respects, apparently so.

You’re a pessimist. You’re attracting negativity. You’re not trying. Way to make someone feel better, eh?

Please, if you so much as dare believe that someone has invited misfortune into their life, take a step back. Do you really believe I sat down with Life and asked for Grief with a side of Misery? How rational. I even promised to reflect upon 2018 as a time when ‘I really grew as a person’. Hilarious.

The crux of this piece is to (a) assure people that bad luck is not something we attract (b) life is uncontrollable at least 75% of the time and (c) you are in no way, shape or form a bad person for feeling unlucky. It is almost laughable, narcissistic even, when someone claims to avoid misfortune by ‘thinking positively’, and that you are by default responsible for the good and bad events in life.

I could go on for days about this, but I would’t subject anyone to that. Congratulations if you made it this far.

Love and (ironically) luck,

Clodagh X

P.S. – It is totally ok and normal to feel awful about the bad things in life. Not everything is an ‘opportunity for growth’. Shit happens. And it’s shit. Nothing more, nothing less.

Advertisements

Q & A! Writing, Ancestry, Fears and more…

Last week I said I’d do a Q & A to celebrate one year of The Electric Oracle; as promised, here it is! Thank you very much for your questions and kind words.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

The Electric Oracle – Happy 1st Birthday! Q & A to follow, comment questions…

 

I can’t quite believe I’m writing this, but today, the 4th of July, marks one whole year since the beginning of The Electric Oracle!

fullsizeoutput_36

This space was born out of a need for expression and release; I never thought I would find such a sense of community through my interactions with readers and other writers. I feel incredibly lucky to have this (unexpected) platform. You can read my first ever post here.

Thank you all so, so much for sticking with me this year, all 1226 of you. It is an absolute joy to interact with each and every one of you. I have sought much guidance and wisdom from various comments and exchanges – you have no idea how grateful I am for it all.

In light of this celebration, I have decided to do a Q & A session! Somehow I’ve never done one before…

If you’d like to, leave a question in the comments below and I will answer it in my next post. You can ask whatever you like (provided it’s not NSFW!), whether it be about writing, life, or something more personal. I’ll be accepting questions until this Sunday the 8th July.

You can also comment a question on my latest video here.

Thank you so, so, SO much for this year,

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

the stagnation of ‘having it all’

IMG_1379

I was really, really happy before Christmas. The happiest I’d been in years. Life was gliding and it felt fantastic.

You can guess where this is going. In January of this year, things went downhill and life got bleak. Again. There was no life; I breathed, ate, slept, but nothing more.

Thankfully I have readjusted, and life has colour again. I want to savour, not survive. In the past three months I have done more than I ever did in the five-ish months before Christmas. There have been dips and dark days, but I plough ahead because I know I want to, not because I have to.

I truly believe that I ‘had it all’ before Christmas; the soft contentedness was almost childlike. Nothing could – and nothing did – harm me. This was wonderful, but it was stagnant. Deeply, deeply stagnant. I relaxed into complacency, dropping me further into stagnation.

Fast forward to this year in all its painful glory, and I have accomplished far more. Searing trauma has provided me with contrast; if life can be terrible, life can be great. If I plough ahead and focus on this greatness, the contrast intensifies and life gets better. Of course no-one would want the pain to get worse, but viewing it through the lens of contrast can make the great even greater.

What I’m really trying to say is that ‘having it all’ is not what ‘having it all’ is built up to be. All you need is a taste; any more and you are sucked into a life unlived. A content life unlived is still a life unlived.  We need the pain to encourage us to live our lives out of our own accord.

Don’t let your life glide past. You really don’t need to have it all.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

Latest video: https://youtu.be/AfrOSKclT5A

Twitter: twitter.com/clodaghmcginley

Instagram: instagram.com/clodagh.mcginley

 

 

travel without travelling

 

cropped-image2.jpg

 

As you may or may not know, I’m not the biggest fan of travelling. You could even say that I dislike it. This is, however, dependent on a number of factors – who I’m with, how I feel, etc. So it isn’t always awful.

One of the main issues I have with going abroad – i.e. physically travelling –  is that I don’t gain a whole lot from the mere act of seeing a new place. It does not fill a void in my soul, nor does it bestow me with the travel bug. I can count on one hand the number of times visiting somewhere new has put a bounce in my step rather than a weight on my shoulders. This unsolicited ‘weight on my shoulders’ has allowed me to delve further into the concept of travelling, and what it signifies for so many.

Why do we travel? For enjoyment? Distraction? Enlightenment? Perhaps for all of the above and more. The word ‘novelty’ itself has its roots in the Old French term for ‘new’; we are constantly seeking novelty from the daily grind. A new perspective. Or maybe we just want to get away for a while.

If travelling fundamentally consists of that which is new, why must we travel to experience said newness? Do we really have to physically transport ourselves to foreign lands in order to relieve ourselves of mundanity? To set out on a path of self-discovery?

When we break down travelling like this, we can begin to comprehend how the physical act of travelling is not necessary for travel to take place. Your mind is means enough for you to explore new realms; what’s to say that the beat of a song can’t warm you up like the blazing sun? A new city is a new story – find it within yourself instead of crossing seas to hear it.

If you travel to seek distraction or escapism, I am of the opinion that you may want to take a step back and pinpoint that from which you are running. Oftentimes the only way out is through; your problems will still be there when you inevitably return home. You are not escaping so much as you are stalling.

There is much to gain from considering what it means to travel rather than the literal act of travelling, or of transporting oneself to new places. When the concept of travelling is broken down, I would almost go as far as to say that I enjoy it; that is a revelation no plane journey could have given me.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

Latest video: https://youtu.be/AfrOSKclT5A

Twitter: twitter.com/clodaghmcginley

Instagram: instagram.com/clodagh.mcginley

where I’m at: gap year after college? (VIDEO)

Here I am chatting about my plans for the future, and how I intend to take a gap year having finished my degree. Enjoy!

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

 

Twitter: twitter.com/clodaghmcginley

Instagram: instagram.com/clodagh.mcginley

acceptance over love

 

I can’t honestly say that I love myself. I do not embrace my flaws or scream ‘I am what I am’ over the rooftops. At one level, this makes me feel somewhat alienated from those who are unashamedly themselves. The people who don’t question every word they say. I don’t, however, let this bog me down; I may not love myself, but I accept myself.

There is a rhetoric floating around these days that speaks of how we must love ourselves before we love others. We must embrace our differences and eradicate self-loathing. On the surface this sounds ideal. We all just give ourselves a big hug and everything is fine! If only it were that simple.

As far as I’m concerned, it is far more important to accept yourself before you love yourself. Even if you accept yourself and you don’t end up loving every inch of your being, you’ll still be better equipped to face the world.

There is a strange guilt that comes with not expressing love for your (apparent) flaws; you feel as though your lack of self-love will inhibit your potential to love and appreciate others. You’re a disappointment to compassion.

This is where self-acceptance is key. You do not have to cherish your imperfections. You can acknowledge their presence and accept the role they play in your life, but loving them is unessential. I categorically do not love my crooked spine, asymmetrical jaw, introverted nature or tendency to assume the worse case scenario. But they’re a part of me, and that’s just fine. These things have taught me a lot, and they’ll probably continue to do so as I become older and – hopefully – wiser.

Let’s stop making people feel guilty for not ‘owning’ their flaws. You can feel lacklustre about yourself while continuing to love others. The more we accept, the more we can move on and unshackle ourselves from the impossible task of loving what we hate.

Love and luck,

Clodagh X

Latest video: https://youtu.be/AfrOSKclT5A

Twitter: twitter.com/clodaghmcginley

Instagram: instagram.com/clodagh.mcginley