lucky

I’ve been trying to cobble together a long-ish written post for weeks now, but the words aren’t flowing. Not that I mind, really. It’s a lull more than a blockage.

One of the things I wanted to write about was the concept of luck. I’ve felt extremely unlucky this year, for a variety of reasons. It is not, however, the ‘unluckiness’ that bothers me; it will pass. I know that. It is the unending guilt I have felt for labelling this time in my life as a misfortunate one that irks me.

I do believe that we create our own luck. I really do. We can place ourselves in fortunate circumstances by doing plenty, living full lives – whatever you want to call it. The more you do and the more you believe, the luckier you are.

So what about ‘bad’ luck? Is it my fault that life has been loathsomely unkind to me this year? Did I upset the wheel of fortune? Am I nothing more than a lazy cynic? In some respects, apparently so.

You’re a pessimist. You’re attracting negativity. You’re not trying. Way to make someone feel better, eh?

Please, if you so much as dare believe that someone has invited misfortune into their life, take a step back. Do you really believe I sat down with Life and asked for Grief with a side of Misery? How rational. I even promised to reflect upon 2018 as a time when ‘I really grew as a person’. Hilarious.

The crux of this piece is to (a) assure people that bad luck is not something we attract (b) life is uncontrollable at least 75% of the time and (c) you are in no way, shape or form a bad person for feeling unlucky. It is almost laughable, narcissistic even, when someone claims to avoid misfortune by ‘thinking positively’, and that you are by default responsible for the good and bad events in life.

I could go on for days about this, but I would’t subject anyone to that. Congratulations if you made it this far.

Love and (ironically) luck,

Clodagh X

P.S. – It is totally ok and normal to feel awful about the bad things in life. Not everything is an ‘opportunity for growth’. Shit happens. And it’s shit. Nothing more, nothing less.

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