I am 22 | getting older

This week – on the 26th September, to be precise – I turned 22. In all honesty, I had a lovely birthday surrounded by the people I love, and for that I am incredibly grateful.

What made me a feel just a little bit melancholy was the realisation that I am getting older. This was my first real birthday as an adult; the years between 18 and 21 are still youthful, in my opinion. 22 sounds like an age where you should have everything together. Realistically I know that very few people in their early twenties actually know what they’re doing, but it can definitely seem as though they do. I’ve yet to hit that sweet spot of wisdom and selflessness. My best self.

I get glimpses of it occasionally. Feeling confidence in the way my jacket sits on my shoulders. Not overthinking every smile and gesture that comes both from me and towards me.

Anyway. This is definitely something I’ll write more about, but for now I’ll leave you with a song that encompasses the above. Coincidentally, it’s one of my favourite songs of all time, something you’ll know if you watched my 50 Facts About Me video (shameless plug number 47472…).  

Love and luck (and apologies for the late post!),

Clodagh X

the way they make you feel | leave them behind

It is almost tragic how emotion can sweep us away. We know deep down that someone is not good for us, that they leave us raw with pain and upset with each and every encounter; yet we are still drawn towards them. Be it platonic or not, we love them. And we are powerless to prevent it.

Attempting to leave behind someone you connect with on a life level is nothing but torturous. What’s even more torturous is realising that you are the one who has been left behind. You are the one who is giving every second thought away to someone who deserves no place in your life. You are allowing someone to torture you.

Is there a remedy to this? In my opinion, yes. It’s about acceptance. You need to accept that feelings exist, that they may try to sway you from what you need. Your spirit is multifaceted; those you connect with on a soul level may not be accessing the best parts of you. Let your mind do the work. You do know what is best for you. Clinging to a semblance of happiness for the sake of your life is not worth it.

If there is someone in your life dragging you to your depths, leave them down there and rise above them. You will reach a whole new level of existence you didn’t think would see the light of day, the light of life.

It’s time to start living again.