This week – on the 26th September, to be precise – I turned 22. In all honesty, I had a lovely birthday surrounded by the people I love, and for that I am incredibly grateful.
What made me a feel just a little bit melancholy was the realisation that I am getting older. This was my first real birthday as an adult; the years between 18 and 21 are still youthful, in my opinion. 22 sounds like an age where you should have everything together. Realistically I know that very few people in their early twenties actually know what they’re doing, but it can definitely seem as though they do. I’ve yet to hit that sweet spot of wisdom and selflessness. My best self.
I get glimpses of it occasionally. Feeling confidence in the way my jacket sits on my shoulders. Not overthinking every smile and gesture that comes both from me and towards me.
Anyway. This is definitely something I’ll write more about, but for now I’ll leave you with a song that encompasses the above. Coincidentally, it’s one of my favourite songs of all time, something you’ll know if you watched my 50 Facts About Me video (shameless plug number 47472…).
Love and luck (and apologies for the late post!),
Incomplete. Unfulfilled. Something is missing.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve experienced the above in my life so far. A sense that nothing is coming together as it should. It often seems to occur in the middle of something rather than at the start or end of a project or phase. You’re stuck in a grey hue of dissatisfaction, with seemingly no end in sight.
It is so easy at this point to look back on your life so far and pinpoint things that made you happy. Things that brought a sense of fulfillment and energy into your being. You may then attempt to re-introduce whatever it was that once completed you back into the present day, hoping that you will feel as alive as you know you are capable of feeling.
This is where we encounter an issue; what once completed you cannot possibly complete you again, as you are already complete in this regard. The action has served its purpose. To try and re-instate it will only bring you back to what is familiar, thus inhibiting growth of any kind.
This in and of itself may seem depressing, but it really isn’t. The fact that you feel a sense of distance from what once made you happy simply means that you are already growing, whether you realise it or not. Eventually you will grow into a new phase, one where you will feel as though you are living again. Embrace the grey hue, be aware of it, and take steps to flourish. It can seem like an impossible task when you are so deeply unsure of what life has in store for you, but you will ultimately look back on the grey parts of your life wishing you had moved forwards rather than backwards into familiar.
I realise this post was a bit haphazard, but I’m still readjusting after my week away! I hope you’re all as healthy and happy as can be. I’ll have a longer post up later in the week.
Love and luck,
Thank you all so so much. 200 followers may be pittance to some, but to me it means the absolute world. I love being able to share and discuss with you all, and to have this in my second week of posting on here is wonderful. THANK YOU! ❤
Love and luck,